1. Realize that enduring happiness doesn't come from "making it." People adapt to changing circumstances, even to wealth or disability. Thus, wealth is like health - its absence breeds misery, but having it (or anything material we long for) doesn't guarantee happiness.
2. Savor the moment. Take delight in the day's magic moments. Big treats don't make us feel that much better than little treats. Ben Franklin said that feeling good "is produced not so much by great pieces of good fortune that seldom happen as by little advantages that occur every day."
3. Take control of your time! We may not have total control over the events of life, yet we can control our reactions and how we spend our time. We may overestimate how much we can accomplish in a given day, yet we underestimate how much we can accomplish in a year, given just a little progress each day. Commit time each day to taking care of yourself, to "learning to feel good."
4. Act happy! We can actually act ourselves into a frame of mind. Consciously choosing a smiling expression makes people feel better (this has been scientifically researched!). Our physiology triggers our emotions. Speak as if you feel positive self-esteem and optimism. Try it. Put on a happy face!
5. Get into the flow! We feel good when we are in that zone of "flow" where we are so absorbed in what we are doing or experiencing that we lose total track of time. We've all experienced it, whether while performing in athletics or gardening or even cleaning the garage. Seek work or leisure that engages your skills, challenges you without overwhelming you.
6. Join the "movement" movement. Aerobic exercise not only promotes health and energy, it also provides relief for mild depression and anxiety. Individuals who are in good cardiovascular condition demonstrate a lowered physiological response to stress in their lives. Sound minds live in sound bodies.
7. Rest! Americans suffer form a growing "national sleep debt." Society seems to reward those who are always "on the go," who get up early and work late. We are underslept, which results in fatigue, diminished alertness, and poor mood. REST (Restricted Environmental Stimulation Therapy) by taking daily doses of solitude, meditation or reflection. It will recharge your spirit.
8. Close relationships - make them a priority! There is little in life to compare to an intimate friendship with someone who cares deeply about you. Confiding is good for the soul and the body. If married or in a loving, commited relationship, determine not to take your partner for granted. Show them the sort of kindness you display to others. Affirm each other, play together, share together. Commit to act in loving ways.
9. Care for your soul. In study after study, people with rich inner lives are happier and cope better with crises. Their reflections make them aware of their connection with others, with a sense of life's meaning, with feelings of acceptance and with a reason to focus beyond the personal self and to a larger perspective.
Adapted from Myers, David G. (1993), The Pursuit of Happiness, New York: Avon Books
What are your secrets to feeling good? Click here to email them: drsheck@learntofeelgood.com