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Learn To Feel Good (SM) Newsletter
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Volume I, Issue 8, September 2001
Editor: M. Adam Sheck, Psy.D., drsheck@learntofeelgood.com
http://www.learntofeelgood.com
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In This Issue
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1. Welcome from Dr. Sheck!
2. Quotations for the Month!
3. On Change and Transformation
4. The Generation Gap: A Somewhat Crude Joke
5. Who is Dr. Sheck?
6. Classified Ads
7. Subscription Management
8. Contact Information
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1. Welcome from Dr. Sheck!
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Welcome to the eighth issue of the Learn To Feel Good (SM)
Newsletter! Believe it or not, the summer is about over, and the
kids will be starting school again.
I’ve had the best summer I can remember in many years. I just
returned from Hawaii, where I swam with wild dolphins and
performed all kinds of rituals under the stars sleeping on lava
rock. The best part of the summer though, is today, right now,
being back with my daughter, Alana, and sharing full-body laughs
from the tips of our toes to our crowns.
My article this issue is about change and transformation and what
conditions support this. It’s more about the soil required to
nurture our growth, than the growth itself. One lesson at a time!
I’m still planning to offer my Learn To Feel Good (SM)
workshop online this Fall. I’ve gotten very little email response
to the idea, so if you’re intrigued by it, please email me right
now so that I can make developing this course a priority.
drsheck@learntofeelgood.com
Also, come to the website, I’ve got many new items there that
might expand your lives or at least put you in a good mood for
a moment.
http://www.learntofeelgood.com
So welcome, and thank you, again, to all of my subscribers,
new and vintage. If you gain something from this newsletter
or the website and find it valuable in some way, please pass
it on to your friends, family and colleagues around the globe.
Just click on that “forward” button on your email program.
My intention is to increase my subscriber base to 50,000
members by the end of 2001, to effect some positive change
in the world. Please help me in this effort. Again, thank you
for your interest and support. And what would you like to
change/transform in your life?
-M. Adam Sheck, Psy.D.
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2. Quotations for the Month
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I am a great believer in luck, and I find that the harder I work,
the more I have of it.
-Thomas Jefferson
Destiny is not a matter of chance, but a matter of choice. It is
not a thing to be waited for, it is a thing to be achieved.
-William Jennings Bryan
If we don’t change our direction, we are likely to end up where
we are headed.
-Ancient Chinese Proverb
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3. On Change And Transformation
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I was emailing with a friend the other day about change, and the
conditions that help us to create transformation in our lives.
For my purposes, I will use the words “change” and
“transformation” interchangeably. Many “professionals” create
a distinction between the two. To me, they are the same, one
just sounds a little more lofty, a little more impressive. Use
whichever word calls to you, it’s all the same to me.
So in creating change or transformation, there is the conscious
part and the unconscious part. Both appear necessary for
lasting change to occur. However, it’s always seemed to me
that the conscious piece is generally quite secondary to the
unconscious piece in the larger realm of things.
The consciousness can begin to create the landscape for change,
the soil, the environment necessary for growth. However, it
seems to me, that once we consciously create that environment,
the unconscious (both personal and collective) takes over for
the highest good.
We do need to set a conscious intention (another newsletter
article), to create a mold if you will, to be filled full of our
energies (conscious and unconscious, physical and intangible).
This is much different than goal-setting and affirmations,
where there is a conscious and deliberate repetition over and
over.
To the unconscious, repeating something indicates that it doesn’t
exist already, so you’re communicating to your unconscious that
what you “want” doesn’t exist – over and over and over. What do
you imagine the outcome will be?
I’m a firm believer in setting the intention, and letting it go. And
then going on with your life, taking care of what needs to be
taken care of. Setting the intention and letting it go, trusting in
the higher good, that is the practice.
And, like any practice, it can be used to empower or it can be
used to avoid responsibility for not having the life you want.
That’s an individual choice, a conscious choice, a choice to move
forward or to blame. That’s where the conscious part comes in,
the part where we have to wake up.
For instance, I can give a workshop, teach a class, create a
setting, have an individual or couple session, and provide
individuals with a deeper experience of who they truly are.
That is one of my greatest gifts.
Yet, until they can give themselves that experience, until they
can connect on their own to their true self (whatever that means
to them), they will continue to project the responsibility for the
experience onto me. And they will depend upon me for their
experience of themselves. And blame me when they don’t
experience themselves fully.
And while they maintain that disempowering illusion, they will
not align with themselves and their highest good. They will
continue to feel disconnected from themselves. And this
disconnection will manifest externally as they continue to “want”
to have an intimate relationship, and “want” to start that exercise
program and “want” to change careers or whatever else it is that
they “want” and are waiting to feel whole to have.
As the psychologist, I’m simply the bridge between illusion and
reality. I hold the psychic space for truth to arise. I hold it
cognitively, emotionally, energetically. This space is the “soil”
needed for growth and transformation.
And once enough of that truth is recognized, I’m not needed to
hold the space, the patient can hold their own space. And
experience their own wholeness. And make whatever
contribution to the world that they are ready to embrace.
Change, growth and expansion all begin with setting the
intention. Set yours. Now!
M. Adam Sheck, Psy.D.
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4. The Generation Gap: A Somewhat Crude Joke
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Life is so, so serious, and I’ve learned that laughter is an
extremely healing energy. And so, in stark contrast to the
previous article (yes it’s all me, a multiplicity of selves), I present
a crude, yet somewhat amusing joke, to round out this
newsletter issue. It’s short but sweet and I’m sure it will evoke
a reaction in my readers, one way or the other. It’s actually
deeper than the first read might indicate. Feel free to
tell me what you think at:
drsheck@learntofeelgood.com
And if you find this joke amusing, I have an entire section of
bawdy jokes on my website, at:
http://learntofeelgood.com/notfortheprudish.html
So, without further ado:
The Generation Gap
An old man was sitting on a bench at the mall.
A young man walked up to the bench and sat down.
He had spiked hair in all different colors: green, red,
orange, blue, yellow.
The old man just stared.
The young man said sarcastically, "What's the matter old
timer, never done anything wild in your life?"
Without batting an eye, the old man replied, "Got drunk
once and had sex with a parrot. I was just wondering if
you were my son."
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5. Who is Dr. Sheck?
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After decades of personal investigation on both traditional and
non-traditional paths, Dr. M. Adam Sheck entered the mental
health field. His doctorate is in Clinical Psychology. A bit on the
overeducated side, he also has degrees in Management and
Engineering.
He is a licensed Clinical Psychologist (California License PSY15487)
and Clinical Director of the Manhattan Counseling Center in
Manhattan Beach, California. He is a Professor in the Departments
of Human Behavior and Psychology at Ryokan College in Venice,
California, teaching the two year core curriculum in psychology
as well as graduate classes in counseling psychology. In addition
he supervises/trains psychology interns at the Airport Marina
Counseling Center in Los Angeles, California.
Dr. Sheck works with individuals experiencing personal and/or
career challenges. His special niche is working with "high-tech"
and business professionals who are successful in business, yet
need support in learning to interact successfully on deeper, more
personal levels. He also treats patients one day per week for
what they can afford, his “community mental health” day.
He also has a great deal of experience in career transition issues,
having created a number of businesses. In addition to
psychotherapy, Dr. Sheck conducts business and career “coaching”
both face to face and by telephone. He is the creator of the “Learn
To Feel Good” seminar series which provides tools for
“systematically having the life you want.”
Dr. Sheck is currently President of the Southern California
Association of Imago Relationship Therapists (SCAIRT). Imago
Relationship Therapy (IRT), created by Harville Hendrix ("Getting
The Love You Want"), is a very successful form of couples
psychotherapy. Dr. Sheck finds it extremely satisfying to support
couples in working through their conflicts and distress, and
helping them to enhance their relationship.
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6. Classified Ads
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This issue of the Learn To Feel Good newsletter is sponsored by
Silverwork, which retails and wholesales incredible 925 sterling
silver jewelry from Taxco, India and Bali. Please take a look
at their beautiful website at: http://www.silverwork.org
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7. Subscription Management
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8. Contact Information
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Copyright 2001, M. Adam Sheck, Psy.D.
All rights reserved. Do not reprint, host on your Web site,
edit, or re-engineer this newsletter without explicit permission.
Permission is granted for electronically forwarding this
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