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Learn To Feel Good Newsletter
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Volume I, Issue 5, July 2001
Editor: Maury Adam Sheck, Psy.D., drsheck@learntofeelgood.com
http://www.learntofeelgood.com
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In This Issue
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1. Welcome from Dr. Sheck!
2. Quotation of the Month
3. Feature Article: Expect The Best!
4. Life’s Instruction Manual
5. Who is Dr. Sheck?
6. Classified Ads
7. Subscription Management
8. Contact Information
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1. Welcome from Dr. Sheck!
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Welcome to the fifth issue of the Learn To Feel Good Newsletter!
Word of this newsletter is beginning to spread, and it appears that
it is contributing to the well being of a few people “out there.”
I have just returned from a two week vacation in Bali, which was
an amazing, truly life-transforming experience. It is a beautiful
land with a wonderful, friendly, spiritual, optimistic people.
The majority of the population is Hindu, and there seems to be a
temple ceremony every night in each village. A truly appreciative
people, everything is seen as a “blessing.” If it rains, “it’s a
blessing.” If it doesn’t rain, “it’s a blessing.” They seem to
have their bases covered in the blessing department.
And it is my blessing to have returned to Los Angeles and be
presenting my first “Learn To Feel Good II” seminar on July 28th,
which is just around the corner. The workshop is about removing
the blocks in your life, and letting go of the past. Right now, I am
revising the workshop to include insights I had while in Bali. I am
very excited about this workshop and there are a few openings left.
For more details, go to the link at:
http://learntofeelgood.com/feelgood2.html
I will be offering my original “Learn To Feel Good” workshop in
Los Angeles on August 4th. It presents a systematic approach to
having the life you want. For more details, see the link at:
http://learntofeelgood.com/feelgood1.html
Both workshops carry my absolute guarantee that if you’re not
satisfied for any reason, your tuition will be refunded to you.
Again, I’d like to welcome and thank all of my new subscribers as
well as the people who have referred them. If you gain something
from this newsletter or the website and find it valuable in some
way, please pass it on to your friends, family and colleagues
around the globe. Just click on that “forward” button on your
email program.
My long-range goal is to increase my subscriber base to 50,000
members by the end of 2001. Please help me in this effort. Again,
thank you for your interest and support. And, remember, whatever
happens, “it’s a blessing!”
-Maury Adam Sheck, Psy.D.
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2. Quotation of the Month
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"There are only two ways to live your life. One is as though nothing is
a miracle. The other is as though everything is a miracle."
Albert Einstein
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3. Feature Article: Expect The Best!
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I have learned so many lessons while in Bali, that it is difficult to
select only one to share for this column. What stands in my mind
right now, though, is the lesson I received on my return flight from
Bali to Los Angeles.
This return flight was absolutely the finest flying experience I have
ever had in my life! And it definitely didn’t start out that way,
almost twenty-four hours earlier in the airport in Bali. And that
was the lesson.
Through the blessing of frequent flyer miles, we had been able to
obtain Business Class seats from Bali to Hong Kong (6-7 hours) and
then from Hong Kong to Los Angeles (another 13 hours). However,
the week before our departure, there was a strike on our airline, and
in order to keep to their flight commitments, the airline leased
planes from another airline.
The good news was that our flight would depart on time. A fellow
traveler gave us the “bad” news as we headed for ticketing: everyone
on the aircraft was given Economy seats! At 6’3” and over two
hundred pounds, I was not pleased with this information nor with
the prospect of so many hours in the air wedged into a seat three
sizes too small for my frame. I wanted my larger Business Class
seat!
After muttering my expletives and asking, “why me?” I took a deep
breath, and then another. And then I went through my own private
ritual for letting go (which you might learn if you attend my next
workshop). And I observed the man in front of me, arguing loudly
with the ticket agent for a good five minutes. Finally, his rant
ended, it was my turn. I took another deep breath, and I stepped
up to the ticket agent, who was looking quite overwhelmed and
abused at this point.
I smiled, and decided to be like the Balinese and decide that “this
is a blessing.” I also decided that “if you don’t ask, you probably
won’t receive.” And so, after confirming that all seats were
Economy Class, I gestured at my large frame and requested a
bulkhead seat, figuring that even with Economy seats, the bulkhead
would have the most legroom.
The ticket agent, perhaps appreciating my appreciation of her
position, gave me a bulkhead. And, in addition she gave me the
center, bulkhead seat in the First Class section! What the abusive
man in front of me hadn’t given her a chance to say, was that
although all passengers were being ticketed as Economy, the
aircraft did have some larger, First Class seats. We just weren’t
going to receive the First Class extra privileges on the flight.
So, I literally got the very best seat on the airplane. Was it luck
or karma or . . . ? I’d like to believe (and we all make up our own
explanations for events anyway, so why not?) that it was my one
moment of letting go, surrendering to whatever would happen AND
my absolutely knowing that whatever happened would be for my
highest good.
I can’t say that I live every moment of my life this way, in
surrender and positive expectation. I can say, that when I do,
quite often, there are magical moments like the one I’ve just
described.
And, my story isn’t finished, there was another lesson, of an even
grander scale to come! This first class seat was from Bali to Hong
Kong. The trip from Hong Kong to Los Angeles was on another plane,
which would have Business Class available. No problem, I asked for
and received a bulkhead Business class seat. I was happy as can be.
Business Class was really the way to go on a long flight.
There was a two hour layover in Hong Kong before the flight to Los
Angeles. We stayed in the Flight Lounge, which was like a hotel:
complementary meals, cappuccino, showers, jazz music, high-
speed Internet access. All was good, I was totally content.
Nicole, my traveling companion, business partner and mother of my
child has always been one to present me with life lessons (I’ve not
always been appreciative of them in the moment). She reasoned
that since we had been inconvenienced on the flight to Hong Kong,
we should ask for upgrades to our tickets from Business Class to
First Class.
Now I felt this was pushing it. After all, we had great seats on the
first airplane and now we would be in Business Class, which was a
wonderful experience to me, certainly enough for anyone to
“reasonably” expect. I felt uncomfortable “rocking the boat” and
asking for more. I was feeling “blessed enough.”
Yet, I had recently written a newsletter column about “being
unreasonable” and so, reluctantly, I suggested to the ticketing
agent that because of our inconvenience, I would appreciate an up-
grade to First Class. She verified that there were two available
First Class seats. However, “Customer Service handles upgrades
and today is Sunday and they are closed.”
I was between a rock and a hard place here, yet I was committed to
seeing this through. I asked to speak to a supervisor, who gave me
the same information. I then asked to speak to his manager. I was
told that the manager was very busy and that “if he were available”
he would meet me in the Flight Lounge. I was beginning to get tired
from repeating myself, and wondering if it was time to just let it
all go.
Half an hour later, I met the manager, a very polite man who
absolutely would not look me in the eye while he spoke “at” me.
He kept to the same “party line” and promised me that he would
have someone from the airlines contact me about this within forty-
eight hours (which would be too late for the upgrade, as I would be
home). He asked for my card, which I gave to him, informing him
that I was a psychologist. Sometimes this gives me an edge in
negotiations, as some people assume we have uncanny powers to
see into people’s minds and uncover their deepest secrets.
So, recognizing that I had done all that I could do, I took yet another
deep breath and went to the Noodle Bar to feed the anxiety stirred
by this struggle of dealing with “the system” and of asking for some-
thing, and “expecting the best.” By the time I finished a decaf
cappuccino, I had pretty much let it all go. After all, I was
confirmed in Business Class, so all was well. Half an hour later,
I was paged by the manager, who had “reconsidered” and decided
to upgrade our tickets to First Class!
And I’ll tell you, First Class is the way to go on a long flight! This
was my first experience of First Class, and in a 747 aircraft, the
First Class seats are “sleepers” which retract into beds long enough
for even my size twelve feet not to hang over the edge.
We were given pajamas, sleeping masks, slippers, Erno Laszlo toilet
kits. I don’t know who this Laszlo fellow is, but he sounds “First
Class.” We started with caviar and champagne and moved up from
there. Truly an incredible experience of being served in absolute
comfort.
I am grateful to the experience and very grateful to Nicole for nudging
me in the direction of asking for more. I don’t know about the rest of
you, but sometimes I am challenged by standing up for myself and find
that it takes a great deal of energy. Of course, the energy is exerted
in fighting my own defenses. There is no additional energy utilized in
asking for the best or in asking for the worst. The “Universe” is quite
neutral and happy to serve us up whatever we call forth, whatever we
feel we “deserve.”.
So, the moral of the story, dear readers, is to set your intention and
“expect the best.” And whatever the result, remember, “it’s a blessing!”
-Maury Adam Sheck, Psy.D.
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4. Life's Instruction Manual
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Instructions Given To Each Of Us At Birth
1. You will receive a body. You may like it or hate it, but it will be
yours for the entire period this time around.
2. You will learn lessons. You are enrolled in a full-time, informal
school called life. Each day in this school, you will have the
opportunity to learn lessons. You may like the lessons or think them
irrelevant and stupid.
3. There are no mistakes, only lessons. Growth is a process of trial
and error, experimentation. The "failed" experiments are as much a
part of the process as the experiment that ultimately "works."
4. A lesson is repeated until it is learned. A lesson will be presented
to you in various forms until you have learned it. Then you can go on
to the next lesson.
5. Learning lessons does not end. There is no part of life that does
not contain lessons. If you are alive, there are lessons to be learned.
6. "There" is no better than "here." When your "there" has become a
"here," you will simply obtain another "there" that again, looks
better than "here."
7. Others are merely mirrors of you. You cannot love or hate
something about another person unless it reflects to you something
you love or hate about yourself.
8. What you make of your life is up to you. You have all the tools and
resources you need; what you do with them is up to you. The choice
is yours.
9. The answers lie inside you. The answers to life's questions lie
inside you. All you need to do is look, listen, and trust.
10. You will forget all of this.
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5. Who is Dr. Sheck?
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After countless years of personal psychotherapy, Dr. Maury Adam
Sheck entered the mental health field himself. His doctorate is in
Clinical Psychology. A bit on the overeducated side, he also has
degrees in Management and Engineering.
He is a licensed Clinical Psychologist (California License PSY15487)
and Clinical Director of the Manhattan Counseling Center in Manhattan
Beach, California. He is a Professor in the Department of Human
Behavior at Ryokan College in Venice, California, teaching the two
year core curriculum in psychology. In addition he supervises/trains
psychology interns at the Airport Marina Counseling Center in Los
Angeles, California.
Dr. Sheck works with individuals experiencing personal and/or career
challenges. His special niche is working with "high-tech" and business
professionals who are successful in business, yet need support in
learning to interact successfully on deeper, more personal levels.
He also has a great deal of experience in career transition issues,
having created a number of businesses. In addition to psychotherapy,
Dr. Sheck conducts business and career “coaching” both face to face
and by telephone. He is the creator of the “Learn To Feel Good” seminar
series which provides tools for “systematically having the life you
want.”
Dr. Sheck is currently President of the Southern California Association
of Imago Relationship Therapists (SCAIRT). Imago Relationship Therapy
(IRT), created by Harville Hendrix ("Getting The Love You Want"), is a
very successful form of couples psychotherapy. Dr. Sheck finds it
extremely satisfying to support couples in working through their
conflicts and distress, and helping them to enhance their relationship.
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6. Classified Ads
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This issue of the Learn To Feel Good newsletter is sponsored by
Silverwork, which retails and wholesales incredible 925 sterling
silver jewelry from Taxco, India and Thailand. Please take a look
at their beautiful website at: http://www.silverwork.org
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7. Subscription Management
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8. Contact Information
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mailto:advertising@learntofeelgood.com
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Copyright 2001, Maury Adam Sheck, Psy.D.
All rights reserved. Do not reprint, host on your Web site,
edit, or re-engineer this newsletter without explicit permission.
Permission is granted for electronically forwarding this
newsletter in its entirety.
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