------------------------------------------------------------------
Learn To Feel Good Newsletter
------------------------------------------------------------------
Volume I, Issue 4, June 2001
Editor: Maury Sheck, Psy.D., drsheck@learntofeelgood.com
http://www.learntofeelgood.com
------------------------------------------------------------------
ATTENTION: You are receiving this newsletter because you
subscribed to it. If you would like to be removed from this
mailing list, please see the instructions at the
end of this newsletter. Our subscriber list is NOT made
available to other companies or individuals. We value every
subscriber and respect your privacy.
==================================================================
IN THIS ISSUE
==================================================================
1. Welcome from Dr. Sheck!
2. Quotation of the Month
3. Feature Article: What Is Success?
4. Teaching Tale: “This Is Good!”
5. Who is Dr. Sheck?
6. Classified Ads
7. Subscription Management
8. Contact Information
------------------------------------------------------------------
1. Welcome from Dr. Sheck!
------------------------------------------------------------------
Welcome to the fourth issue of the Learn To Feel Good Newsletter! Word of this newsletter is beginning to spread, and it appears that it is contributing to the well being of a few people “out there.”
I am leaving shortly for a “dream come true” vacation in Bali, truly a once in a lifetime experience. Because of my preparation for the trip, I am a bit short on time and am repeating in this newsletter an article I wrote over a year ago titled, “What Is Success?”
My vacation ends just in time for me to return to Los Angeles and present my first “Learn To Feel Good II” seminar on July 28th. It is about removing the blocks in your life, and letting go of the past. I am very excited about this workshop and there are a few openings left. For more details, go to the link at:
http://learntofeelgood.com/feelgood2.html
I will be offering my original “Learn To Feel Good” workshop in Los Angeles on August 4th. It presents a systematic approach to having the life you want. For more details, see the link at:
http://learntofeelgood.com/feelgood1.html
Both workshops carry my absolute guarantee that if you’re not satisfied for any reason, your tuition will be refunded to you.
Again, I’d like to welcome and thank all of my new subscribers as well as the people who have referred them. If you gain something from this newsletter or the website and find it valuable in some way, please pass it on to your friends, family and colleagues around the globe. Just click on that “forward” button on your web browser.
My long-range goal is to increase my subscriber base to 50,000 members by the end of 2001. Please help me in this effort. Again, thank you for your interest and support. And, be Successful!
-Maury Sheck, Psy.D.
------------------------------------------------------------------
2. Quotation of the Month
------------------------------------------------------------------
To laugh often and much; to win the respect of intelligent people and the affection of children; to earn the appreciation of honest critics and endure the betrayal of false friends; to appreciate beauty; to find the best in others; to leave the world a bit better, whether by a healthy child, a garden patch or a redeemed social condition; to know even one life has breathed easier because you have lived. This is to have succeeded.
-Ralph Waldo Emerson
-------------------------------------------------------------
3. Feature Article: What is Success?
-------------------------------------------------------------
Many patients have come into my office over the years and stated as a goal of therapy, "I want to be successful!" I always ask them, "what does that mean to you? How will you know when you are successful?"
And often, I will get a vague answer related to career and finances. "I want more money! I want to a promotion! I want to be the boss! I don’t want to have to work at all!"
Sometimes, instead, I will get a vague answer related to relationships. "I want to be madly in love and be happy. I want to have a family. I want to go around the world with my spouse/lover."
If we’re doing a "coaching" type of session, I will have them get very specific, very concrete, very detailed about what they "want." And perhaps we will also look at the blocks, the self-defeating patterns that interfere with "having" this.
If instead of coaching, we’re doing "psychotherapy," I might ask "and how will being successful feel to you?" "And why do you need to wait to "become" successful to feel this way?" "Why would you want to wait?" "How could you feel that way now, without having to depend upon external conditions?"
Either way, coaching or psychotherapy, I come back to the Emerson quotation (above, section #2). My job is to support my patients/clients in redirecting their focus from the external to the internal, to take responsibility for their needs and to discover how they can meet them.
Instead of "I want this, I want that, I want, I want, I want" we look towards "What can I contribute to others?" It’s a paradox, yes, to go inward by focusing outwardly on others.
. . . to find the best in others; to leave the world a bit better.
In finding the best in others, we find the best in ourselves. We embrace our humanity, our universal connection. Psychologically and spiritually, it is what we contribute to life that makes us feel good about ourselves, that makes us feel "successful."
When we’re 99 years old and looking back, it is ". . . to know even one life has breathed easier because you have lived" that gives our life meaning, that gives us a sense of accomplishment.
Don’t wait. Be "successful" now!
-Maury Sheck, Psy.D.
------------------------------------------------------------------
4. Teaching Tale: “This Is Good!”
------------------------------------------------------------------
There was a king in Africa who had a close friend that he grew up with. The friend had a habit of looking at every situation that ever occurred in his life (positive or negative) and remarking, "This is good!"
One day the king and his friend were out on a hunting expedition. The
friend would load and prepare the guns for the king. The friend had
apparently done something wrong in preparing one of the guns, for after taking the gun from his friend, the king fired it and his thumb was blown off.
Examining the situation the friend remarked as usual, "This is good!". To which the king replied, "No, this is NOT good!" and proceeded to send his friend to jail.
About a year later, the king was hunting in an area that he should have known to stay clear of. Cannibals captured him and took them to their village. They tied his hands, stacked some wood, set up a stake and bound him to the stake.
As they came near to set fire to the wood, they noticed that the king was missing a thumb. Being superstitious, they never ate anyone that was less than whole. So untying the king, they sent him on his way.
As he returned home, he was reminded of the event that had taken his thumb and felt remorse for his treatment of his friend. He went immediately to the jail to speak with his friend.
"You were right" he said, "it was good that my thumb was blown off." And he proceeded to tell the friend all that had just happened. "And so I am very sorry for sending you to jail for so long. It was bad for me to do this."
No," his friend replied, "this is good!" "What do you mean, 'this is good'! How could it be good that I sent my friend to jail for a year?"
"If I had NOT been in jail, I would have been with you."
------------------------------------------------------------------
5. Who is Dr. Sheck?
------------------------------------------------------------------
After countless years of personal psychotherapy, Dr. Maury A. Sheck entered the mental health field himself. His doctorate is in Clinical Psychology. A bit on the overeducated side, he also has degrees in Management and Engineering.
He is a licensed Clinical Psychologist (California License PSY15487) and Clinical Director of the Manhattan Counseling Center in Manhattan Beach, California. He is a Professor in the Department of Human Behavior at Ryokan College in Venice, California, teaching the two year core curriculum in psychology. In addition he supervises/trains psychology interns at the Airport Marina Counseling Center in Los Angeles, California.
Dr. Sheck works with individuals experiencing personal and/or career challenges. His special niche is working with "high-tech" and business professionals who are successful in business, yet need support in learning to interact successfully on deeper, more personal levels.
He also has a great deal of experience in career transition issues, having created a number of businesses. In addition to psychotherapy, Dr. Sheck conducts business and career “coaching” both face to face and by telephone. He is the creator of the “Learn To Feel Good” seminar series which provides tools for “systematically having the life you want.”
Dr. Sheck is currently President of the Southern California Association of Imago Relationship Therapists (SCAIRT). Imago Relationship Therapy (IRT), created by Harville Hendrix ("Getting The Love You Want"), is a very successful form of couples psychotherapy. Dr. Sheck finds it extremely satisfying to support couples in working through their conflicts and distress, and helping them to enhance their relationship.
------------------------------------------------------------------
6. Classified Ads
------------------------------------------------------------------
This issue of the Learn To Feel Good newsletter is sponsored by
Silverwork, which retails and wholesales incredible 925 sterling
silver jewelry from Taxco, India and Thailand. Please take a look
at their beautiful website at: http://www.silverwork.org
------------------------------------------------------------------
7. Subscription Management
------------------------------------------------------------------
To SUBSCRIBE or join this Newsletter:
If you are receiving this as forwarded mail and wish to be on this
mailing list for direct delivery, please click on reply and type in
the subject line: SUBSCRIBE. You will be promptly added to this
mailing list.
To UNSUBSCRIBE or be removed from this Newsletter:
If you do not wish to receive the Learn To Feel Good Newsletter,
please click on reply and type in the subject line: UNSUBSCRIBE.
You will be promptly removed from this mailing list.
------------------------------------------------------------------
8. Contact Information
------------------------------------------------------------------
Click the email address below to address any advertising issues: mailto:advertising@learntofeelgood.com
Click the email address below to address any technical concerns:
mailto:webmaster@learntofeelgood.com
Click the email address below to address any personal issues or letters to:
mailto:drsheck@learntofeelgood.com
------------------------------------------------------------------
Copyright 2001, Maury Sheck, Psy.D.
All rights reserved. Do not reprint, host on your Web site,
edit, or re-engineer this newsletter without explicit permission.
Permission is granted for electronically forwarding this
newsletter in its entirety.
------------------------------------------------------------------