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Learn To Feel Good (SM) Newsletter
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Issue 19, September 2002
Editor: M. Adam Sheck, Psy.D., drsheck@learntofeelgood.com
http://www.learntofeelgood.com
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In This Issue
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1. Quotations for the Month
2. Welcome from Dr. Sheck!
3. Being and Doing
4. Teaching Tale: The $20 Bill
5. Jokes on the Edge: God & Angels
6. Who is Dr. Sheck?
7. Classified Ads
8. Subscription Management
9. Contact Information
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1. Quotations for the Month
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Far and away the best prize that life offers is the chance to
work hard at work worth doing.
-Theodore Roosevelt
We are what we repeatedly do. Excellence, then, is not an
act, but a habit.
-Aristotle
I am looking for a lot of men who have an infinite capacity
to not know what can’t be done.
-Henry Ford
Lives based on having are less free than lives based on
doing or being.
-William James
You can’t push a wave onto the shore any faster than the
ocean brings it in.
-Susan Strasberg
I have discovered that all human evil comes from this, man's
being unable to sit still in a room.
-Blaise Pascal
How many cares one loses when one decides not to be
something but someone.
-Coco Chanel
To be what we are, and to become what we are capable of
becoming is the only end of life.
-Robert Louis Stevenson
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2. Welcome from Dr. Sheck!
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Welcome to the Nineteenth issue of the Learn To Feel Good (SM)
Newsletter! The topic of this issue is “Being and Doing” and
creating a balance between the two in our lives.
If you find this month’s Newsletter topic stimulating, you
might enjoy my “Learn To Feel Good” email course. It is a
six week email course which will provide you with a Systematic
Approach To Having The Life You Want! It is regularly a $50
course, but for LTFG Newsletter Subscribers, the tuition has
been reduced to $25! And it is unconditionally guaranteed.
You may learn more at the link below:
http://www.learntofeelgood.com/fgonlinews1.html
Enjoy this Newsletter, enjoy your Life and have a fabulous month!
-M. Adam Sheck, Psy.D.
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3. Being and Doing
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The subject of “being” and “doing” is an interesting one. In the
psychological and spiritual communities, it appears to me that
there is a subtle, discrimination, that perhaps a state of “being”
is considered superior to a state of “doing.” Being is considered
natural, effortless, in the flow, while doing is considered work,
effort, forced. One is to be admired, the other to be
“transcended.”
Personally, I don’t believe that to be true at all. I was originally
going to call this essay, “Being versus Doing” but that wording
immediately portrays an adversarial relationship. To me, it is
about achieving balance.
Yes, in the material world we live in (at least in our Western
culture), we are certainly out of balance in that we might
focus a little too much on the external world, on the world
of appearance. And yes, in order to restore balance, we might
need to over focus in a compensatory manner on the inner
world, the world of being.
And yet, that doesn’t make being superior to doing. They are in
truth different aspects of the same whole. One is the yin to the
others yang. In balance, they might naturally ebb and flow as
the tide does, moving from foreground to background and back
again.
Each evolves from the other. And each embodies the other,
containing the seeds of the other. From a state of being, great
“doings” may be created and made manifest. And when one is
truly doing, embodying a task fully, when one is totally absorbed
in the moment, in the flow, isn’t that the ultimate state of being?
The great mystics might call this the state of “prayer without
ceasing.”
Truly, the state of doing and being all are sourced from the
same place. And to me, it is finding the balance that is to be
strived for.
My daughter, Alana, is almost nine and she is an expert at
“being.” She can “be” with her friends all day long, laughing,
playing, totally in the flow. Yet when I ask her, “What are you
doing?” she will answer, “Nothing.” And she is absolutely
accurate in that moment.
Yet when I ask her if she is ready to “do” her homework or to
practice piano, we sometimes get into a bit of a parent/child
power struggle, as she would much rather “be” than “do” at
that moment.
And the apple doesn’t fall that far from the tree. I can sit for
long periods of time, meditating, praying, just “being.” And
when it comes to my paperwork or my writing or my billing
or returning telephone calls, I would rather “be” procrastinating
than “do” the work. And yet, without the work, there would be
no opportunity, no space for the sitting, the being.
We need both. At least, I need both. Being isn’t superior to
doing. Doing isn’t superior to being. They are brother and
sister and it is our job to allow them to live in harmony, not
making one or the other our “special” child.
Both need to be loved and appreciated. Both need to know
they are important and invaluable to us. Both need to be
blessed and supported and practiced each day. And then
our lives may be even fuller and richer and more meaningful.
Peace and Blessings,
M. Adam Sheck, Psy.D.
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4. Teaching Tale: The $20 Bill
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A well known speaker started off his seminar by holding up
a $20 bill. In the room of 200, he asked, "Who would like
this $20 bill?" Hands started going up.
He said, "I am going to give this $20 to one of you but first,
let me do this." He proceeded to crumple the dollar bill up.
He then asked: "Who still wants it?" Still the hands were
up in the air.
"Well," he replied, "What if I do this?" And he dropped it
on the ground and started to grind it into the floor with
his shoe. He picked it up, now crumpled and dirty. "Now
who still wants it?" Still the hands went into the air.
"My friends, you have all learned a very valuable lesson.
No matter what I did to the money, you still wanted it
because it did not decrease in value. It was still worth $20."
“Many times in our lives, we are dropped, crumpled, and
ground into the dirt by the decisions we make and the
circumstances that come our way. We feel as though we are
worthless.
But no matter what has happened or what will happen, you
will never lose your value: dirty or clean, crumpled or finely
creased, you are still priceless to those who love you. The
worth of our lives comes not in what we do or who we
know, but by WHO WE ARE.
-Submitted by Meryl Beck, who has a wonderful email newsletter,
Inspirational Words” you can subscribe to at: MBeck333@aol.com
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5. Jokes on the Edge: God & Angels ______________________________________________________
A father and his son are walking down an avenue. The son,
being inquisitive, looks up at his father and asks, "Father is
there a God?"
The father looks at his son and says, "Yes my son, there is
a God. You need only look around and observe that women
grace this Earth, to know there is a God."
The boy ponders this and then looks up to his father and
asks another question. "Father, if there is a God, are there
angels?" The father replies to his son, "Yes my son, there
are angels, you need only hear a woman laugh to hear the
voices of angels singing."
Again the son ponders his father's answer, looks again to
his father and asks, "Father, if there is a God, and if there
are angels, is there a devil?" The Father, amazed at the
question, looks at his son, and replies, "Son, you need
only anger a woman and you will meet the devil personally."
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6. Who is Dr. Sheck?
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After decades of personal investigation on both traditional and
non-traditional paths, Dr. M. Adam Sheck entered the mental
health field. His doctorate is in Clinical Psychology. A bit on the
overeducated side, he also has degrees in Management and
Engineering.
He is a licensed Clinical Psychologist (California License
PSY15487) with a private psychotherapy practice in Redondo
Beach, California. He is a Professor in the Department of
Psychology at Ryokan College in Venice, California, teaching
graduate classes in psychology. In addition he supervises/
trains psychology interns at the Airport Marina Counseling
Center in Los Angeles, California.
Dr. Sheck’s approach to psychotherapy and healing has
evolved over time and combines the psychoanalytic approach
with the more spiritual and soul work of C.J. Jung and the
metaphysical teachings of the Science of Mind.
This psycho-spiritual method seems quite effective in working
with people who have experienced deep traumas and are
struggling to make sense of their lives. Dr. Sheck
treats patients one day per week for what they can afford,
his “community mental health” day.
Having a great deal of personal experience in career
transition issues (having created a number of businesses),
Dr. Sheck conducts business and career “coaching” both
face to face and by telephone. He is the creator of the
Learn To Feel Good (SM) seminar series which provides tools
for “systematically having the life you want.”
Dr. Sheck is past President of the Southern California
Association of Imago Relationship Therapists (SCAIRT). Imago
Relationship Therapy (IRT), created by Harville Hendrix
("Getting The Love You Want"), is a very successful form of
couples psychotherapy. Dr. Sheck finds it extremely satisfying
to support couples in working through their conflicts and
distress, and helping them to enhance their relationship.
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7. Classified Ads
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This issue of the Learn To Feel Good newsletter is sponsored by
Silverwork, which retails and wholesales incredible 925 sterling
silver jewelry from Taxco, India and Bali. Please take a look
at their beautiful website at: http://www.silverwork.org
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8. Subscription Management
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9. Contact Information
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Copyright 2002, M. Adam Sheck, Psy.D.
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