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Learn To Feel Good (SM) Newsletter
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Volume I, Issue 14, April 2002
Editor: M. Adam Sheck, Psy.D., drsheck@learntofeelgood.com
http://www.learntofeelgood.com
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In This Issue
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1. Quotations for the Month
2. Welcome from Dr. Sheck!
3. Renewal: New Beginnings
4. Ask Dr. Sheck: Long-Distance Relationship
5. Who is Dr. Sheck?
6. Classified Ads
7. Subscription Management
8. Contact Information
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1. Quotations for the Month
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If we don’t change our direction, we are likely to end up
where we are headed.
-Ancient Chinese Proverb
The shell must break before the bird can fly.
-Alfred, Lord Tennyson
Take away the cause, and the effect ceases.
-Miguel de Cervantes
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2. Welcome from Dr. Sheck!
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Welcome to the fourteenth issue of the Learn To Feel Good (SM)
Newsletter! The theme for this month’s newsletter is “Renewal:
New Beginnings.”
And in keeping with the Spirit of Renewal, I have made many
new additions and renewals to my Learn To Feel Good website!
I’ve just added a new feature, the Cartoon of the Day, to put a
smile on your face. It is available through the home page or
you may go directly to this link:
http://www.learntofeelgood.com/cartoon.html
I’ve also added a new complimentary email Greeting Card Service
on my Learn To Feel Good website. There are literally over 1000
different cards you can send your friends, family and colleagues
which you can customize with animation and music. The direct
link to the Greeting Cards is:
http://www.learntofeelgood.com/ecards.html
On a more serious tone, I’ve updated my mental health links with
confidential screenings for depression and bipolar disorder. You
may find them at:
http://www.learntofeelgood.com/depressionlinks.html
We’ve had our first monthly Learn To Feel Good Community
Teleconference, which was so successful that I’ve scheduled
another for Thursday, 18 May! By dialing into a provided
telephone number and using a pin code, you will be able to
join me in a free conference call.
I will be giving a mini-lecture, a guided meditation, and then
having a question and answer period. The link below will be
updated shortly with more information on this Community Call.
http://www.learntofeelgood.com/communitycall.html
I’m also expanding my telephone coaching practice. It is
exciting to be supporting people from around the country
and the world! I’ll keep you all posted, as more details
become available.
As always, feel free to contact me with questions or comments
at:
mailto:drsheck@learntofeelgood.com
And, if you gain something from this newsletter or the website
and find it valuable in some way, please pass it on to your
friends, family and colleagues around the globe. Just click on
that “forward” button on your email program!
And in keeping with this month’s theme, Renew Yourself!
-M. Adam Sheck, Psy.D.
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3. Renewal: New Beginnings
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Renewal is such an interesting word. To renew, according to
Webster, is:
1. To begin something again, or return to doing something.
2. To make something (such as a contract) effective for a longer
period.
3. To replace something that is worn out or no longer suitable
for use.
4. To reaffirm or restate a promise or commitment.
5. To give somebody or something new energy, strength or
enthusiasm
6. To make something new or as if new again.
All of these are wonderful definitions and are all appropriate to this
discussion. And of course, each spiritual practice also attributes
great significance to renewal, rebirth, re-dedication.
We are entering Spring now, in the Western Hemisphere, the time
when our Planet and all of Nature is deeply expressing its renewal
and rebirth.
And as human beings, we seem to align with Nature on this,
consciously or unconsciously. For us, too, this seems to be a
time for renewal, a time for “Spring Cleaning,” a time for fresh
outlooks, fresh perspectives, new beginnings.
Each day is the opportunity for a new beginning. In the Jewish
tradition, the day is greeted with the morning prayer, which
includes “"Each day YHVH renews the act of creation." Each
day, God “recreates” the Universe.
Is it possible for us to “recreate” the microcosm which is our
Universe? Can we can renew our bodies, renew our minds,
renew our Spirit, renew our Soul. How might we do this?
I believe that it begins with a Commitment towards
Authenticity.
A life of Authenticity is a life where we are true to ourselves,
true to our core nature, true to our Soul. I believe that we are
all on a Spiritual Journey in this lifetime. And on our Path, we
can choose to “wake up.”
Or, we can remain “asleep” and be subject to the effects of our
unconscious patterns as well as our society’s “group” un-
conscious patterns and beliefs. It is a choice we make up
until our last breath. It gives new meaning to the children’s
prayer, “If I should die before I wake . . .”
So, how do we wake up and stay awake? It’s about creating
and sustaining daily practices, daily rituals. Practices for
checking in with ourselves, and giving voice to what we
need: physically, mentally, emotionally, spiritually.
I recommend to practically all of my patients and coaching
clients some type of meditative or contemplative or reflective
practice. Journaling is another powerful tool for connecting
to our inner voice. And physical exercise is also so powerful.
And we can use Webster’s definitions to Renew your Life and
Renew our Consciousness!
1. To begin something again, or return to doing something.
If you’ve had practices that have worked in the past, return
to them.
2. To make something (such as a contract) effective for a longer
period.
Make or extend a contract with yourself, make the commitment.
3. To replace something that is worn out or no longer suitable
for use.
If you’ve tried some approaches that haven’t worked or you’ve
outgrown, let them go!
4. To reaffirm or restate a promise or commitment.
Re-commit, re-Dedicate yourself to creating the life you
deserve.
5. To give somebody or something new energy, strength
or enthusiasm
Re-spark your energies, your enthusiasm, your joy!
6. To make something new or as if new again.
This is a new day, a new opportunity, a new beginning.
Look at your life from fresh eyes and go for it!
If I can be of any support in your renewal, please feel free to
contact me by telephone (310-937-6565) or email
(coach@learntofeelgood.com).
M. Adam Sheck, Psy.D.
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4. Ask Dr. Sheck: Long-Distance Relationship
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Dr. Sheck,
I met a woman through work by telephone. She lived in New
York, I lived in California. We started exchanging emails. We
seemed to have a good thing going, where we could share
our thoughts and feelings about anything without one judging
the other. During this time, I developed fairly strong feelings
for her without ever having seen her.
We first met face to face about a month after, and it was
fantastic, for both of us. Things went downhill about four
months later. I became jealous of a male friend and lost
her trust.
I gave her everything I could from long distance: money,
advice, an ear, or a shoulder to cry on, I was there. But it
seemed as though it was only going one way, and it was in
her direction.
We agreed that it would be better if I moved to New York
so we could be closer, so I did. I am so in love with this
woman. Now have become tired of always listening to
her problems and never being able to share mine with
her without the snide comments or blows below the belt,
and I eventually let her know this.
Big mistake. Now she won't talk to me at all, and said
that I just expect too much from her. Please help, I'm
so . . .
Confused
Dear Confused,
As you've probably discovered, love isn't necessarily enough
to sustain a relationship. And, what you might also want to
ask yourself, is, "is this truly a relationship of love?" You
need to decide that.
It sounds like genuine face-to-face intimacy is an issue here.
On the phone, with distance, it seems like you can be
available and compassionate. In person, you don't want to
"listen to her problems" and she appears to you to be "snide"
and "hits below the belt."
Did you fall in love "over the phone" with a true woman or
with your fantasy of what you thought this woman is?
We only meet the real person when we spend time with
them in the day to day areas of our lives.
Perhaps neither of you is ready for a genuine relationship
and the "fantasy" long-distance relationship is more appealing.
If you're convinced you want to work this through with her,
I'd encourage you to seek the professional support of a
couples counselor. I don't know that you two can work
these kinds of dynamics out by yourselves.
Good luck,
Dr. Adam Sheck
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5. Who is Dr. Sheck?
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After decades of personal investigation on both traditional and
non-traditional paths, Dr. M. Adam Sheck entered the mental
health field. His doctorate is in Clinical Psychology. A bit on the
overeducated side, he also has degrees in Management and
Engineering.
He is a licensed Clinical Psychologist (California License
PSY15487) with a private psychotherapy practice in Redondo
Beach, California. He is a Professor in the Department of
Psychology at Ryokan College in Venice, California, teaching
graduate classes in psychology. In addition he supervises/
trains psychology interns at the Airport Marina Counseling
Center in Los Angeles, California.
Dr. Sheck’s approach to psychotherapy and healing has
evolved over time and combines the psychoanalytic approach
with the more spiritual and soul work of C.J. Jung and the
metaphysical teachings of the Science of Mind.
This psycho-spiritual method seems quite effective in working
with people who have experienced deep traumas and are
struggling to make sense of their lives. Dr. Sheck
treats patients one day per week for what they can afford,
his “community mental health” day.
Having a great deal of personal experience in career
transition issues (having created a number of businesses),
Dr. Sheck conducts business and career “coaching” both
face to face and by telephone. He is the creator of the
Learn To Feel Good (SM) seminar series which provides tools
for “systematically having the life you want.”
Dr. Sheck is past President of the Southern California
Association of Imago Relationship Therapists (SCAIRT). Imago
Relationship Therapy (IRT), created by Harville Hendrix
("Getting The Love You Want"), is a very successful form of
couples psychotherapy. Dr. Sheck finds it extremely satisfying
to support couples in working through their conflicts and
distress, and helping them to enhance their relationship.
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7. Subscription Management
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8. Contact Information
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Copyright 2002, M. Adam Sheck, Psy.D.
All rights reserved. Do not reprint, host on your Web site,
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Permission is granted for electronically forwarding this
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